Let’s Call It A False Start

So you’ve decided to try Keto, and your wondering how you’ll ever survive without pasta, bread, tortillas…or if you’re like me, Coke and Taco Bell.

Growing up with a Peruvian-Italian mother who is an amazing cook, my diet was accustomed to delicious food. There was spaghetti, hand tossed pizza, meatballs the size of your fist, Tiramisu, and South American cuisine that I could not explain in English and do it justice. Sounds great right? Well it was — except it’s a carb heavy diet full of pasta, rice and bread and as you can imagine that makes attempting Keto a bit challenging.

When my fiancé first proposed the idea of trying Keto, we’d just decided to end our Weight Watchers journey. For those who haven’t ventured into Oprah’s diet of choice, it’s a great program that’s low carb, low sugar, and low fat. We lost weight with the program (very slowly) but eventually got tired of the restraints of the diet. Sometimes you just want to be able to eat whatever! Alas, those days are long over; my metabolism was only receptive to those eating habits until high school graduation, then the mutiny began!

So, due to my carb-dependent lifestyle and our trials with weight watchers you can imagine my hesitance when my fiancé suggested a new diet. So I did what all people my age do when they want to know more about something…I googled it. After a few clicks I found an informational video on YouTube by a guy who clearly got every penny out of his monthly gym membership. As I watched the video explaining the basic principles of Keto, my first thought was “This is amazing I can eat all the bacon and cheese I want!” But then the video went on to rip those heavenly bacon and cheese covered dreams to shreds when it announced “No Carbs!” I felt like Sonny in The Godfather, gunned down in my prime. I thought, “No way, can’t do it. Pick a different diet dude!”

But my fiancé, resilient as he is, encouraged me to give it a try. My soon-to-be sister-in-law and her husband had also looked into Keto and had decided they would try it out starting the following week. I’d love to say peer pressure made me try Keto but it was mostly my own stubborn curiosity that pushed me to make the jump. So, that weekend we went through the excruciating task of emptying the fridge and reorganizing the pantry into a “non-Keto” and “Keto” zones. We created a meal plan, spent all day Saturday meal prepping breakfast, a morning snack, and an afternoon snack that we could take with us to work. After a long day of preparing our house and minds for Keto we selected our last carb-heavy meal, as if going to the chair in the morning; I, a beautiful Quesarito from Taco Bell and my fiancé, a Dominos pizza. Exhausted we threw ourselves into bed Saturday night and prayed for the invention of zero carb Canes Chicken Fingers by sunrise.

We awoke Sunday, with Christopher Columbus level confidence, ready to take on this new Carb-free world. I wish I could say it was so easy, like riding a bike — but I never learned to ride a bike and it would probably be easier at 27 years of age to learn than it was for me to quit carbs. My fiancé, despite his Mexican heritage and loyalty to tortillas, did not struggle nearly as much as I did.

I call this our “Keto False Start.” We lasted three weeks our first time on Keto with one cheat day a week. We quickly became frustrated with the diet and felt like we had to cook everything we ate otherwise it would throw off the delicate macros!

Here’s what we did wrong:

• We quit carbs and sugar cold turkey which threw our bodies into heavy withdrawals. I would have robbed a bank with a plastic spork in my old Girl Scout uniform for a Coke by the end of the first week because of the caffeine headache and sugar withdrawals my body was going through.

• We focused on fat consumption and short changed our protein intake. Eating bacon is great for Keto but nothing but bacon and food cooked in bacon grease can get really gross after awhile. We thought everything needed to be fat as possible every single meal and that is just not the way to go.

• We over meal prepped. While meal prepping can be extremely helpful with Keto, we over did it. We did not need two daily snacks, and honestly once our stomachs adjusted to our new diet we hardly ever needed snacks between meals anyway. 

• We tried to reinvent wheel. Instead of string cheese and P3 protein packs we bought all the pieces and tried to put them together like Keto LEGOs. Some things are better made yourself, but it’s important to identify areas where your prep work can be minimized, this way you don’t burn out from the meal prep and save your energy for the week of dieting ahead.

Here’s what we did right:

• We paid extra attention to labels. This is crucial with Keto. You have to know exactly what you are putting into your body whenever possible. There will be the occasional  lunch in the office cafeteria or dinner out where you can’t possibly track everything — it happens! But when it comes to the grocery store — read everything! It’s crazy to say but even foods that are considered “health foods” can be high in carbs or sugar which will totally throw your body out of Ketosis. You’ll have to reteach your brain how to think about “diet” food under Keto rules. Just remember – if it doesn’t have a label don’t be afraid to look it up. Eventually net carb count will be muscle memory but until then always check out those net carbs.

• We tracked everything we ate and held each other accountable. It’s not about playing the blame and shame game, it’s about helping the other person reach their goals. Accountability is important, having a diet partner can help keep you on track and motivate you when the Taco Bell commercials become too much to bear. In our house it’s a contest at the end of the day to see who has the least net carbs. Victory laps are had, congratulations are shared and the occasional celebratory dance with one of our poor dogs is performed.

At the end of the day — you just have to stick with it. Please understand, you will cave in and eat that bagel in your Monday morning meeting when you overslept and forgot your breakfast, it’s inevitable. As my former manager used to say “Give yourself some grace” and get back at it. Don’t let a small slip up throw you into a carb feeding frenzy, and at the same time don’t dwell on the mistake too long — the important thing is that you get back on track!

I promise you if I can overcome my Coke and Taco Bell addiction, and lose 7 pounds in a week with light Yoga as my only exercise, so can you. Stick with me guys, I’m getting wedding ready and I’ve got lots of tips, tricks, and secrets to share along the way.

Don’t be scared…it’s Jess Keto!